Over the Rainbow

I am really coward. In my childhood, I never spoke up what actually inside my heart to my friends. I was afraid that my words could hurt them because environment made me a sensitive person. The only people I could speak up was my parents at that time. After growing up, I felt my problems also growing complex. I thought that I couldn’t share it anymore with my parents because of it. I didn’t have anyone for sharing my thought too. I needed to work it out by myself. Therefore, I’ve barely expressed my true feelings for a very long time.

My life is full of pretense. I always do everything for people’s sake. As long as they are happy, it doesn’t matter to me, even though what I’ve done is opposite to my feeling. But, it actually hurts me. I want to change. I don’t want to be everyone’s tool. But, when I changed, some people were back to offend me. I am….. scared. However, after musing, I think it is indeed our world. The world is not always filled by good things like the one in our dream. It doesn’t always work well with our expectation too. So, I need to face the whole of it. I don’t wanna run away again. I need to seek my true identity.


Kesan selama SMA

Awalnya, saya merasa minder berada di SMA ini. Saya merasa hanya ada saya sendiri karena perbedaan saya dengan teman-teman yang lainnya tentang bahasa, suku, agama, kebiasaan, dan lain-lain. Masalah ini ditambah lagi dengan kekurangmampuan saya untuk bersosial dengan yang lain.

Namun, saya tidak berpikir seperti itu lagi sekarang. Memang, awalnya saya tidak punya seorang pun yang saya kenal sebelumnya di sini. Meskipun begitu, saya punya pengalaman yang luar biasa di SMA ini. Dimulai dari teman-teman saya di 10 MIA 11 dulu, saya tidak tahu dari mana awal mulanya, tetapi saya bisa menjadi berteman dengan mereka. Kami melewati rintangan bersama-sama, mulai dari tumpukan PR, projek, dan tugas kelompok. Hal yang paling saya ingat adalah tugas kelompok kimia tentang pengamatan polusi berdasarkan metode ilmiah. Kami pergi ke pasar untuk mengobservasi sampah-sampah di sana. Itu adalah pertama kalinya aku melakukan hal tersebut.

Setelah beberapa bulan di kelas 10 MIA 11, saya pindah ke kelas 10 MIA 1. Berbeda dengan sebelumnya yang mayoritas siswanya menggunakan bahasa Indonesia dalam percakapan sehari-hari, mayoritas siswa di kelas 10 MIA 1 aktif menggunakan bahasa Hokkien, yang merupakan bahasa yang saya tidak mengerti. Jadi, di awal-awal saya agak sedikit pasif. Orang yang menemani saya di sini awalnya adalah Michael Ciawi, yang sebelumnya juga dari kelas 10 MIA 11. Tetapi, lama-kelamaan saya punya banyak teman di sini.

Di kelas 11, saya lebih merasa nyaman berada di sini. Pada waktu itu, saya juga mendapatkan seorang sahabat dari kelas lain. Ini adalah pertama kalinya saya mempunyai sahabat.

Di kelas 12, saya sudah semakin merasa dekat dengan teman-teman saya di kelas. Saya sudah merasa bahwa saya tidak hanya menumpang belajar saja di sekolah ini, tetapi juga saya mendapatkan relasi yang baik dengan teman-teman saya. Selain itu, saya juga belajar cukup banyak bahasa Hokkien dari mereka, seperti percakapan sehari-hari dan juga kata-kata “khusus”, misalnya “l*n ciao” (credit : K. L.), “ciak cib*i” (credit : W. A.), “c*o o lang”, dan “l*n pa” (credit : Ciawi). Tidak hanya di kelasku, saya juga mempunyai banyak teman di kelas-kelas lain pada saat itu. Pemikiran saya yang awalnya saya hanya belajar saja di sekolah ini sudah benar-benar berubah sekarang! 😉

Thinking by Understanding

I remember when I learned atomic structure in chemistry on the first grade of SMA. I was completely clueless about the material. What is Wien’s displacement? What is photoelectric effect? How is atomic model found? What is Brackett series? What is the reason of electron configuration and quantum number being used? What is the interconnection of each subtopics? I received random information which I had to memorize without consideration. Back then, I never realized why the information could be like that, how it could come like that, or what benefits I could get from learning it. I just memorized it since the teachers (from inside and outside my school) never explained those things in detail, they just asked me to memorize it. But surprisingly, I forget about it now (two years later). In my opinion, we can easily forget something when we haven’t processed them well in our brain, in this case, we only memorize, not understand it. So, the solution of this problem is simply understanding the information. But, how can we apply the understanding skill into our thinking? We get used to just memorizing something since primary school. We ‘love’ memorizing. We ‘love’ getting instructed and prohibited by our teachers and parents without knowing the object. We ‘love’ thinking simply and conveniently. Probably, we don’t realize them, but we do.

I am really glad by the presence of curriculum 2013. I think it is the best tool to revolutionize our thinking, so that we get used to thinking by understanding. But, it is impossible to execute well curriculum 2013 because it is confusing about what methods the teachers must carry out. We need professor-level teachers to do so. Perhaps, I talk too far. To specify, I will give example for what makes us ‘love’ thinking simply and conveniently. It is not entirely our fault. It is the education system too. The system gives standardization to us by the problem that we solve in the school exam. Consequently, it is not rare that the teacher just focus to explain the problem solutions as many as possible to make us to get used to solving the problem in the exam. Yes, we can solve the problems by this, but we understand nothing about the material concept we learned. Another example, I’ve been learning by using booklet as the primary book in my school. It is a small book made by some pieces of HVS paper. It contains one topic that has a summary of random information (which the connection of each subtopics is not given) with less explanation and less figural illustration. In my opinion, the book compels me to blindly memorize the content. It can be tolerated if we use it as a secondary book, but the teacher use it as a primary book instead of a secondary one. I think this is what makes we ‘love’ memorizing.

I have some suggestion to get used to thinking by understanding so that we can remember well the information :
1. Always put “Why?” question on every information you get
2. Never memorize the things that you don’t understand until you fully understand about it
3. Read books, browse on internet, or ask teacher about information you can’t understand